The Sweetest Puppy.

Most of you that follow me on Instagram (kscott24) know that we lost our sweet puppy on Monday.

We got her 2 and a half years ago when she was 6 months old. It was love at first sight. The second I saw her I knew she was mine. I've never had such a connection with a puppy and she was my soul mate. She always knew when I was happy, sad, or mad. She would lick my tears off my face until I started laughing. She was my shadow and my snuggle bug. 

You might say I was a little too attached to her. I just can't explain the bond I had with her. I've never had that kind of connection with a dog. Ever. 

She followed me everywhere. She had a mat she would sit on while I was doing the dishes, she would walk around with me while I was cleaning up, and she would lay in my warm laundry as I was folding it. She would sit right outside the door while I took a shower (She wouldn't get too close just in case I got any funny ideas about trying to bathe her.) She would bark so long at Jonathan when he first got home and then as soon as he sat down she would attack him with the sweetest kisses. 

She loved.

She was loved.

Callie suffered a back injury in November. We don't know exactly when it happened but we have 2 flights of stairs and dachshunds aren't good with stairs, so I assume it happened some time on the stairs. My heart broke when we got the diagnoses. She had to have a $7,000 surgery that WASN'T guaranteed to work. We just couldn't pay that much. So we took the route of giving her steroids which helped her get the ability to use her back legs (instead of dragging them) and she could walk (wobbly). Basically, I carried her everywhere. We could have lived this way but she couldn't control her bladder. When she had to go she went with no warning no matter if she was in the floor, on the sofa, or on our bed. So we took her to the vet to see if there was any other medication we could give her to help her control her bladder and we got the worse news imaginable. 

Callie has been in pretty much constant pain since November.

Heart broken.

The vet advised us that the humane thing to do was put her down. 

The decision was the hardest in my life. 

She died on Monday, May 20, 2013. The day before her 3rd birthday. 

All the next day I couldn't go an hour without crying. I just kept thinking "if I could just have one more day with her" THEN I would be ready to let her go. But the reality is I would NEVER be ready to let her go. 

She was my love.

I am SO incredibly blessed with a happy, healthy, loving marriage. 

I am so blessed with an incredible, loving, HEALTHY child. 

I am so blessed for this baby in my tummy that is growing every day. 

I can not fathom how someone feels when they lose a child. 

My heart was torn to shreds and I felt like I couldn't even move. And she was a dog. 

Not my bouncing 3 year old. My mind won't even let me "go there" to think about that because I just don't know what I would do. I will be sad for a while. I have stopped crying every time I think of her. I have started to remember the happy times and the only thing I am focusing on is HOW MUCH she loved me and HOW MUCH I loved her. 

No one will understand that type of love.

She is in Heaven. I firmly believe that. She is waiting for me with her wagging tail and jumping up and down. I can't wait to see her again. It's going to be the most amazing day. 

We got her cremated. She's currently sitting on the mantle in a little tin until I can go find an urn that I love. She will always be with me. 

Just like she loved to be.