So the other day I posted something on Instagram with the hashtag #myfitnesspal.
Sometimes when I'm feeding Elouise, I click on hashtags and go through and see what others are posting. I've found some amazing and inspirational people that way.
Not this day.
This day broke my heart. I found someone's page who had used #myfitnesspal... Along with that hashtag, there were others likes #anorexic #bulimic #thinspo #bonespo #depressed.... I could go on and on....
I started clicking around and viewing these young girls (usually 12-16). My heart shattered. Every single one of them were or had been fasting. NOT EATING for 52 hours or more. Only drinking green tea or water. Usually 52 hours was the goal... not sure why? When they weren't fasting, they were trying to eat around 500 calories a day and exercising at least an hour a day. How incredibly unhealthy. People would try to comment on their pictures and explain to them how unhealthy it is. And they all attacked the one well-wisher.
As for me, I didn't even try. I have been that girl. That teenage girl who knew it all. I used to have basketball practice for 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I would only eat dinner. I was 6 feet 1 inches and barely 170 pounds. I was a stick. And I STILL thought I was fat. All because I wasn't a size 0.
I am big boned. I know that sound cliche but it is not physically possible for me to EVER be a size 0. My hips are just big. I am thankful for my hips. They allowed me to have 2 beautiful, big babies the natural way. But in high-school, I didn't think that way. I had friends who were a size 0 and I thought I was enormous because I was a size 10.
I was unhealthy. Just like these girls.
I wish I could explain to them how everything else is more important than the size of their jeans, whether or not they had a "thigh gap", or what the scale says. But they won't listen. I know because I was that girl. My prayer for them is to just not do anything stupid before they can realize how they will never lose weight and be able to keep it off that way.
All of them complained about being bloated, exhausted, headaches, passing out, and dizziness. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that is because they are literally starving themselves to death. Their bodies are in starvation mode.
All of them complain that their mom and/or dad made them eat dinner. Oh how I wish I knew their parents so I could tell them how dangerous their teenager is acting.
My prayer is that my girls know their worth. I want to convey to them that that is NOT healthy. If they want to lose weight and be healthy...GREAT! I will totally help them in anyway that I can. I want them to know in order to be healthy they have to eat foods that are good for them and exercise. Lift weights. Not just spend hours and hours on the treadmill.
What also broke my heart is that these girls would post pictures of these incredibly fit girls who obviously have muscles and lift weights. It's sad to think that they can achieve those goals just by simply not eating. Those girls who are fit and are their inspiration eat healthy and lift weights. Or they would post pictures of girls like this
All of these girls also express how sad/depressed they are. How no one understands them and they have no friends. How they just want to spend all day in bed so they don't have to be around food. Heart broken.
I don't really know what the point of this blog post is. Basically just to get my thoughts out there in hopes that maybe one of those girls will read this and know that I HAVE BEEN THERE. I know what they are feeling. Life is SO much more than the number you weigh or the size of your jeans. In order to be fit and healthy, you have to EAT and you have to exercise. And if any young girls read this and need help please email me. I won't judge you. I just want to be there to listen and to help.