Thursday, April 3, 2014

Why Co-Sleeping is not for me...

Does anyone else get annoyed with the parents who promote what they do as the best and only way that parenting should be done?

Baby wearers.
Formula feeders. 
Gentle parenting.

I want to know when parenting became a damn competition. 

Last time I checked I'm having a hard enough time doing this without dealing with criticism from others. Parenting is hard freaking work. No matter what "style" you choose, you should be praise for doing what YOU think is best for your kids. And just keeping them alive. Right? EVERY SINGLE CHILD is different. Therefore, some styles don't work for everyone. God didn't intend it that way. Since when did "it takes a village to raise a child" become "you better do it the way I think is best, or you're doing it wrong."

I'm over it. 

Anyway, Co-Sleeping. I love the idea of it. Sweet little snuggles and always being there when your baby needs you. 

BUT.... sleep, man.

I can NOT sleep when a child is in the bed with me. I can't get into that good, deep, sleep that body so desperately needs right now, because I'm constantly stressed if I'm gonna smother my child. And every. single. noise and movement wakes me up. Damn mom ears. All while my husband snores away peacefully at the other side of the bed. 

I am breastfeeding. Therefore, sometimes in the middle of the night I fall asleep while feeding her. Shit no I don't get out of the bed to feed her. Judge away. And I wake up usually an hour later and I put her back in her bed. Which wakes her up, so I have to feed her again. So, what could have been a 20 minute feeding session turns into 2 hours plus of not good sleep. 

And lets talk about the fact that I am CONSTANTLY with both of my girls. I love them to death. I would die for them. BUT mama needs her "grown up" time. So, for my sanity and my marriage, I need that little tiny amount of time to give to my husband. To give him my full attention and to actually talk to him. Strange I know. What do co-sleepers do about.... you know what? I need to find one and ask them. Because that is important. 

Elouise is still in our bedroom currently until we move, but just having her in her own bed does wonders for my sleep and sanity. I actually get to relax and just be KellyAnne... and not have to worry about being a mom. From the time she goes to sleep until she wakes up hungry around 3 AM, I can just be me. The silly, crazy girl that my husband fell in love with. To laugh and joke with him. Not to talk about the kids and what happened throughout the day. It does wonders for us both.

But I am saying all this without judging co-sleepers. Good for you. I sincerely think that it is a great thing for your bond with your baby and for you to always be there when your baby needs you. It makes your baby feel safe and secure. It is amazing. 

I don't really know the point of this post. Basically just to type out my frustrations about parents judging other parents. Give it a rest, people. This shit is hard enough without me worrying about what someone else is doing. 

Ain't nobody got time for that. 


  1. Tucker has not once slept in our bed. He slept in our room until he was about 12/13 weeks old which is when he started sleeping through the night. Bed sharing is definitely not for everyone. Good for your for doing what is best for you and your family! Happy and rested mama makes for a happy baby! Everyone just needs to be supportive of one another.

  2. I am with you 100%! My SIL preached co-sleeping to me like there was no tomorrow. I would be terrified that I would roll on top of the baby because I move around a lot at night. I lay her on the bed when I am folding laundry and seeing her small body on that huge bed is enough to scare me away from co-sleeping. Little one has been in her crib since day one and occasionally cat naps in my arms or in her rock and play sleeper. Everyone has to have their own system for parenting and no one way is the right way!

  3. I love this. Just bc I do something and love the results we get, does not mean everyone will think the same, or it will work for them. And I totally know that. I feel like I've had so much mompetition with my first baby that I try so hard not to enforce what works for us I others.
    What's so funny, is that I was talking to a mom the other day about how she would NEVER let her child in her bed. Well, we do- when they are sick (or have bad dreams). And I'm totally ok with that. It happens only on occasion. But that other mom gave me the "look", like she was a much better mom than me bc she wouldn't ever do that.
    Ok, that's fine that you don't, but I'm raising my kids, not yours. You can do with yours as you'd like, but it doesn't make me less of a mother. I just wish I could tell her that without feeling more judged!

  4. Girl you're doing great, I hope no one is giving you grief! Your girls are perfect and you're doing what's best for your family... that's all that matters!!

  5. Co-sleeping is hard. Anytime I've babysat, it's rare that I can get into that deep sleep if there is a baby in the bed because I'm like you, super aware of movement and noise. And, uhh, yea,...even though I'm not a mom, I agree that taking care of couple needs is still important. Can't very well do that with a baby or toddler in the bed with you.
    It sucks ass but I feel like there will always be judgment of and competition between moms.
    You just worry about your and taking care of your family the way you see fit!
    Y'all are moving?

  6. Graycie is still in our bed. She starts out in her bed but some time within the night, she works her way to our bed and we never hear her come in. Although, the last 3 nights she has stayed in her bed. But with Lukas we have made a pattern of keeping him in his bed. 1) I'm more afraid of Graycie smothering him than us. 2) He is a climber, if he woke up and we didn't hear, he'd flip out of the bed. 3) I need my sleep!!! So we have seen both sides of the coin. I love the cuddles and lovings but I love sleep too. You really just have to do what works for you and shut out the rest of the noise. Parenting has become very competitive.