Thursday, January 31, 2013

My motivation.

Okay first of all you guys know that I'm not a weight-loss or exercise guru or professional. I am just a girl who is tired of being fat. I'm tired of having to squeeze into my fat pants and pull them up so I don't have a muffin top. I'm tired of not being able to go into any damn store I want to buy clothes. 

I am 6'1 so I will always have to buy "longs" but dang it I want to be a size 10/12 again like I was in high school. I have big hips. When I was anorexic skinny in high school I was still a size 10/12 and a size medium/large... I would be OVER THE MOON to be back in size 12's... right now I'm a 14/16... Now that I've lost 9 pounds I'm a very comfortable 14. (Read: no muffin top)

I totally got off track.
My motivation.
I have been getting a lot of questions lately about "how do you have so much energy?", "where does your motivation come from?", "how do you find the time?"

First of all let me say that my life is pretty simple right now. My husband leaves for work at 7 each morning and is home by 5. 
I am a stay-at-home-mom to an almost 3 year old, who other than the occasional gymnastics or other little "sport" I put her in, has no other outside-the-house activities. 
I love my simple life.
I am not taking it for granted. I know that many of you would kill to have my life. I am extremely blessed. BUT I know that it won't always be this way. When Hazel starts school and sports and when we have another baby ('s)... my life won't be so simple. So I'm using this time to take care of MYSELF. I am being "selfish." (I put that in quotes because I don't think I'm being selfish AT. ALL. because I'm taking care of myself.)

BUT with all that being said... I have a daily struggle with "should I go to the gym today? or just stay home?"

Obviously, being lazy would be my first choice. That's what got me here. 
Every day I have to talk myself into it. 
-I think about how much better I'll feel when I'm done and a sweaty mess.
yes I do!
-I think about my family. I want Hazel to have a happy and healthy mom. I don't want to constantly be battling with my weight all my life. I want to teach her that you can be healthy and active and HAPPY. I'm not ever going to beat myself up over eating a brownie. I want her to know that ALL things in moderation is a great way to live. I want her to be happy and healthy and active too. I want to be a good example so that she won't constantly be worried about her weight the way I have. I want her to know that it's okay to have a brownie or even 2... but eating 8 is not good. Even when I was anorexic skinny in high school... I thought I was fat. I don't EVER want her to think she's fat. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin.

- I think about all of you. We are in this together. I have a goal weight and so do you. Mine is more than likely higher than yours but I'm way taller than you. I want to be HEALTHY... And I want to be able to maintain my weight without sacrificing for the rest of my life. But seriously, you guys are super motivating. Every time I post something about working out on instagram or my blog or MFP you guys are always there with encouraging words! It's incredible. THANK YOU.

fit and healthy over skinny

-Me. I am tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. I want to rock any outfit I choose. I want to look good naked and be confident in myself. I want people to look at me and say "I want to look like her." I want to motivate other moms to push themselves. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you can't be a MILF. I want people to see me dripping of sweat at the gym (which happens every time I go) and push a little harder because of me. 
- I am tired of saying "I quit" when someone asks me how my weight-loss is going. Like I said... this isn't my first rodeo. I have started and quit a dozen times. This time I am finishing. Something this time around clicked. I am done being fat. I am done starting over. I am done being unhappy. I am done with the excuses. The dirty dishes and house can wait. This is my time. I don't care how long it takes. I will never give up. I will reach my goal weight and I will finally take my "after" pictures... instead of only "before's"

What are somethings that motivate you?


  1. What a great post! I'm so into this fitness journey for all those things for my kids, especially my daughters too! I don't let them say "I don't look pretty" or "that person has a big belly"...we need to be happy with how we are and be great inspirations for our kids and other Moms. Way to be girl!

  2. I am 5'9 so while Im not as tall as you, Im still tall "for a girl". My goal weight is 150. Im sure a lot of people think that number is really high, but I porbably have 4 or 5 inches on them :) Im not sure what your goal weight is, but if it sounds high, its probably because you have 5 inches on me! I sweat like crazy at the gym too. I have to stop in the middle of classes to wipe my face so I can see. Lol so gross, but whatever, thats what Im there for. To sweat!

  3. Ohhhh KellyAnne... I fucking love you, girlfriend! This post was AWESOME! You are a rockstar and such a huge inspiration. Keep on doing what you're doing - the sweatiness suits you! And holla for no muffin top!

  4. You are doing amazing!!!!!!!!!! My inspiration is hands down my kids.... And breaking the cycle of unhealthy habits so they don't have to do it when they have kids of their own!

  5. awesome post! i am with you...I am sick of taking "before" pics and no "afters"...I'm sick of everyone knowing that I work out like crazy...but never get skinny. I honestly think that blogging/IG/MFP are going to be the reason that I stick to it this time! who knews friends that I never met in real life could help me so much find myself!! :)

  6. wow! This post is so incredibly inspirational! This is our time. If not now then when. We don't want to look back in 3,5,10 years from now and say what if? What if I would have gone to the gym what if I just would have put in the effort? It sucks now but in those months years down the road we'll be able to look back and say damn I freaking did it!

    I just try to take one day at a time. Constantly remind myself that eating healthy for one day wont get me down a size. I set short term goals that will be able to reach in a month etc. And most importantly I try not to get down on myself which is easier said than done.

    We can do this girl! I am with you!

  7. Love this post. You most certainly motivate me with your bad self. I love the blogging world. So far, everyone is so kind and motivating. It keeps me going even when I want to take the day off.

  8. Amen sista! One thing I'm doing for motivation is I bought a outfit.. I could get it all on but could not button the pants. Essentially, I looked like a busted can of biscuits! I took pictures (and will not be sharing anytime soon) and I'll try on the outfit (with pictures) each month to see my progress instead of basing it all on the # on the scale.

  9. Your a inspiration for all of us. I love the support system with MFP/blogging/instagram. Lets keep up the hard work and have beach bodies for the summer!!

  10. Love this post because I definitely lost my motivation this week. I keep doing it for my kids. I want to be alive as long as possible to see them grow up and perhaps be a grandma someday. I also do it because I want to stop wearing "plus sized" clothes. I want to wear normal sizes and wear cute things and look good doing it.